Ken's Holiday Journal
by Arciam
Summary: Ken writes a journal while he is on a camping trip with Daisuke, all the while gaining new insights into his friend, himself, and their friendship. Fluffy, sometimes angsty DaiKen/Kensuke
1. Ken's holiday jounal

**Author's Note: **What shall I say? It's Ken's vacations with Daisuke brought down to paper ^^

It is set in the summer holidays after Digimon 02 ended (never minding the epilogue of course, I _hated_ the thing^^ ), which means, it's the end of the same school year it all started with. This first chapter can be considered some sort of prologue to the actual story if you like. Ken's POV. No real shounen ai yet, most likely will be in the future.

I do not own Digimon and enjoy the fic :)

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**Ken's Holiday Journal**

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Well, today was the last school day, which is why I decided to start this holiday journal.

It was my last school day in Tamachi as well. Next year I'll be attending Odaiba Elementary, that is where Daisuke and the others are. We cannot exactly move there because of my parents' jobs, so it will definitely be a long way to school, but I'm sure it will be worth it. My parents and I have, for some time now, planned to transfer me anyway, and I guess there is no school I would rather be attending than the one that contains the benefit of having my friends around.

There are several reasons for me changing school, by the way. It's not as if my marks had gotten _that_ bad, I'm sure I could do just fine if I put all my effort into it. But both my parents and I think that, after all that has happened during this last year, it would be better for me not to have to worry so much about grades, but more about recovering from all the changes in my life. Giving my soul a chance to heal.

And there _are_ minor problems with other students picking on me, that is true, but it really isn't that much of a bother to me. Not a reason to leave. Well, it was at first, when I felt like I had no human friend on earth, but ever since Daisuke befriended me and even convinced the others to give me a chance, it almost has not bothered me at all.

Speaking of him, he met me at my school today. I know he had one period less than me, but still, he must have run like hell to catch me. However, flushed and slightly out of breath, Daisuke stood outside, waiting for me, ready to walk me home.

When I asked him why he had come to see me, he asked me if I wanted to go camping with him and his family for a week. His parents had allowed him to bring a friend along, and he said the first one he had thought of was me. I really feel… flattered about that.

I was excited and happy, however, not being the overemotional kind, I just smiled and in the calm, polite way I almost always speak I answered "I'd love to." Daisuke on the other hand, never one to be secretive about his feelings, beamed as he shouted "Great!"

When I added that I'd have to ask my parents first though, he calmed down slightly, but it was no problem to him. I should just call him when I knew if I could come. With that, he went home, for he had not told anyone he was going to meet me, so he must already have been expected at home for one and a half hour, and until he'd arrive there, it would be at least two and a half.

When I told my parents about Daisuke's offer, they reacted quite overjoyed, for I haven't been away with a friend since... well, I don't think I've actually ever _been_ away with a friend...

Anyway, they agreed immediately and they already began asking what I would need so they could buy the missing things and so on. I could not answer right away though.. First, I had an important phone call to make. I swear I could feel Daisuke glowing through the phone when I told him I had the permission. He began chattering about how great it is going to be and how much he is looking forward to it. I listened to him and found myself smiling in appreciation of his ever contagious enthusiasm.

So, in seven days I'm going camping with Daisuke. I'm sure it's going to be great.

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Yesterday after having written the entry, I told Minomon about our vacations (he had been asleep all day, which is why I first told him then). He was very excited too, thinking about spending a whole week together with Chibimon.

Sometimes it is strange to see how those two almost seem _supposed_ to be friends.

But then again.. When I look back I think it was just about the same with Daisuke and me, even if I chose to ignore it back then, being too busy feeling superior.

I don't think we happen to be DNA-digivolution partners by accident, nor do I think that our hearts beat in time with the other's because of it. I think it's quite the other way round. I guess that, even if we are completely different on the outside, we have always been equal in the core. And I definitely enjoy being the second side to this coin.

Enough of philosophy for today; after being told we are going to camp, Minomon asked me what camping was all about. He liked the idea of spending most time outside pretty much, after all he does not like to be closed in, neither in my room, nor in my bag.

I already started packing today. There are still six days to go, but... I don't know.

Probably this is my way of showing when I'm excited.

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'Day #1' coming soon.


	2. Day 1

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**Day #1**

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So it's today.

Daisuke just called me to say they are on their way and they will pick me up outside in about twenty minutes. I've successfully packed everything I need during the last few days. Actually, I think I have packed much more than I need, but I somehow wanted to be completely sure nothing would go wrong.

Yesterday I had the brief thought that it all might not be such a good idea after all. It wasn't as if I did not want to go anymore, it's just.. suddenly I became aware that I will be with Daisuke all the time, so there will be no way to really hide anything from him.

I don't know why that feels like a big deal though. I mean, he is my best friend, and now and here, I couldn't think of anything particular I would need to hide from him.

But still.. It is all a bit strange.

However, now I am genuinely glad and so excited that I don't think I will even be able to hide it when he is finally here.

Speaking of which, I think I'll go outside now. There are still about ten minutes to go, but in case they are here early, I don't want to let him wait.

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Here we are at a motorway service area.

It took us almost two hours to get here, and I guess we are about halfway now. Daisuke just went to the nearby gas station to buy some candy for Chibimon, the others are eating something at the restaurant. I am just sitting outside in the sunny weather, taking the chance to write again.

Well, yes. I _was_ pretty excited when they arrived, with a tardy of fifteen minutes because they had had to drive back for Daisuke's goggles. June later told me the only way he could ever have forgotten his sacred goggles was that he had been awfully excited. So appearantly I haven't been the only one.

Anyway, when they arrived and Daisuke got out of the car, I was so happy I gave him a big hug. I have never hugged him before, but it seemed.. appropriate in a way. He was just as happy and returned the hug enthusiastically while his parents helped my parents getting all my stuff in the trunk.

It was hard for Mama not to cry when it was time to say goodbye, even if it is only for a week. I guess she is incredibly happy I have found such a good friend. She's right. I _am_ very lucky having Daisuke.

We all got in the car, Daisuke and I sat in the back seat, his parents in the front seat and in the middle, means in front of us, June sat with a friend of hers, May, I think.

May and June. Figures, doesn't it?

When May first noticed Minomon and Chibimon, I saw her whispering something to June, as far as I understood it it was a question if we weren't too old for such things, she most likely took them for stuffed toys. "Nah, they're special." June answered. I suppose she knows about the Digimon. I mean, well, we did not exactly do much hiding when they attacked our world around Christmas, so it shouldn't be very surprising either.

We then drove, and at first Daisuke and I talked a lot just like the others did, he told me much about the place we are going, what you can do there and so on. But it wasn't long before it became silent in the car. I listened to the radio, looking out of the window.

Suddenly I felt something leaning against my shoulder, then sliding on my lap.

I had not even noticed Daisuke had fallen asleep, until he now lay on me. I didn't mind it... Actually.. well, it _was_ really cute. Vacations had not even started yet and he was already exhausted. I wouldn't have minded either way though. I smiled down at him and began stroking his hair.

Then I must have forgotten time, for when I next time looked at my watch, the most of an hour had passed. It was when I heard a strange 'click' that I first got distracted from sleeping Daisuke and looked up at the source of the sound. It was a digital camera. May and June appearantly had found it all awfully cute, so June had taken a picture. Now both were giggling.

Davis awoke from the noise and drowsily asked what had happened. His sister only showed him the photograph. He blushed and glared at her "June! Why do you always have to take pictures of what I'm doing?" - "Hey, that's a precious holiday memory! Don't you appreciate that?"

They quarrelled for the rest of the ride. I just watched, it was kind of entertaining. Until Chibimon nudged me and whispered "Hey Ken..! I'm hungry.. Do you have candy..?"

I did not, and everything Daisuke had brought turned out to be in his bags in the trunk, so close and yet so far away. Although we both should have known better than to forget about having candy within reach where our Digimon are concerned.

I distracted Daisuke from quarrelling and told him I was hungry, holding Chibimon so that he knew it was him I was talking about. He understood and shouted to the front "Hey, can we stop? We're hungry!"

And that is how we ended up here. They all should be finished soon, at least Davis is coming back from the gas station now.

So I'll stop here.

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It is night, Daisuke has already gone to sleep, and actually I am only staying awake in order to finish this day's entry.

There isn't even much to report, the second half of the ride was rather unspectacular, and it was already dusk when we finally arrived. We pitched the tents and had dinner. Daisuke's parents have brought a whole lot of convenience food and Daisuke himself has an entire bag filled with only snacks and candy, so being hungry should never become a problem.

After a while we went to our respective tents. Daisuke's parents share one, May and June do and of course Daisuke and I do too. We did not do much talking though, as he almost dropped dead in his sleeping bag.

He really does have lots and lots of energy, but, eventually outpowered, he also does have the ability to literally go out like a light. And after his family told me what he's done the past few days in excitement and anticipation, I have no doubt that he _is_ outpowered by now.

I can absolutely imagine him bouncing around for days, lying awake at night, hardly getting any sleep and still not being tired or even exhausted. Until there is no need to be excited anymore and the comatose energy-refill finally sets in.

Oh well. I guess I'll write again tomorrow anyway, so I'll go to sleep now.

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**Author's Note:** I'm not sure when 'Day #2' will be up, for I had only written up to this point and I can be very lazy when it comes to continuing the stories I've begun ^^

But I guess I'll try to get at least _some_thing done sometime soon.


	3. Day 2

**Author's Note:** Alright, to say that you've had a long wait for this one would be the understatement of the century xD But look at it this way, this is my way of saying that it might take years, but I'll finish what I started! ^^

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**Day #2**

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Sleeping on the ground in a tent is definitely something I'll have to get used to first.

I mean, it's not _that_ bad, just very different from the surfaces I usually sleep on.

Other than that, waking up today was actually great. I've never heard birds chirp or breathed clear, fresh air right after coming to my senses in the morning.

I never thought I could be so happy just facing a new day, but I guess that is the nature of… well, nature.

After Daisuke woke up - or rather, after his family urged me to wake him already - we all had breakfast and discussed today's plans. We've decided to walk to the nearest town, which I've been told to be a three-quarters of an hour's march away from here.

We want to leave about half past ten, which is in fifteen minutes, and since there is nothing more to tell so far, I'll just write again later on.

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I guess I'll start where I left off.

Our route led us over a mountain through one of the many forests in this area. The air was a little moist, and it was hot. To me, the first twenty minutes were anything but pleasurable.

Daisuke, on the other hand, really seemed to enjoy the walk. Often, he would wander a bit further off the trail into the forest - I did make sure always to keep an eye on him, though - just to pick up something or to investigate something he thought he had seen moving, and then come back, talking to me as if nothing had happened, but with a certain glow in his eyes.

I love seeing him like that.

It's so light. So hope-giving.

It's hard to explain, but… these moments, when he passes some of his elation on to me, for example by showing how much he enjoys a simple walk through the forest, these moments, I completely forget everything else. How I've been, what I've done, that my attitude towards life usually is grave and depressing. I feel like the past does not matter at all, as long as there is the present moment.

And suddenly, it wasn't very hard to ignore my sore feet and the kind of sticky weather and to just content myself with nature and the people around me.

Eventually, the town came into sight. It is not exactly big, more like a major village with some shops and super markets. But it's really nice there.

As I was told later, Daisuke and his family have been camping here twice already. I must admit, seeing June dragging her friend off to some shop - and being dragged to another by Daisuke - with this precision was a little creepy until I heard they had been there before.

The place Daisuke and I went to was a major shop that sold all kinds of things. I bought some hopefully nice souvenirs for my parents (money was not really an issue since they've given me enough to last at least a month), and afterwards, we sat down at an ice cream parlor.

The sun was now at its fiercest and I had to be careful about not leaving the shade of the parasol, as my skin is prone to sunburns. Daisuke, though, seems like born to stay in the sun. As we were eating our ice cream, I tried to imagine what we must have looked like, the way an unspecified observer would probably see us; me, all but shying away from the light, and him, being a perfect part of it.

And all I could think was: It doesn't fit…

This is how quickly my mood can worsen.

Daisuke then tried to start a conversation, and I tried to keep up, but I think he sensed that I was a little off. He took me to his favourite places within the town, some very nice spots, and every now and again he would ask me if something was wrong. I did not tell him. I don't see why I should burden him with my problems any further.

About three pm, we all eventually left the town and made our way back to our site. Halfway back however, rain took us by surprise; even though we should have seen it coming, considering the humidity all forenoon and noon. None of us had thought to bring something along to shield from rain this morning, so by the time we arrived, we were all thoroughly soaked.

Not that I minded. I love rain. So upon returning, I only fetched my jacket and went – before anyone noticed – to a spot I discovered yesterday. I had already thought it would be perfect for thinking, especially during rain. Daisuke was surprisingly quick to find me, however.

"Why did you just run off like that, Ken?" he frowned. Not wanting to make him any more suspicious than he already was, I looked at him with earnest eyes and said "No reason. I simply like the rain."

"Really? Me too!" Daisuke beamed. This stumped me. I had not expected him to enjoy rain as well. I've known him for almost year now, yet this is something I wouldn't have thought, with the way he blends in so perfectly with any sunny scenery. He came closer to stand beside me, and turned to also simply look at nothing in particular.

"You do?" I asked him after a while. It took him a few seconds to remember what my question was referring to.

"Sure. It is… beautiful, I think. It makes everything look calm and thoughtful. And alive. I don't think I can find the right words for it, but even if everyone thinks rain is sad and cold, I rain is like… crying with a little smile. Does that make sense to you?" he finished with a doubtful expression, unsure of his own words. But I understood. I may have used different words, but that did not diminish the truth behind his.

I gave him a little smile of my own, and said "Perfect sense.", whereupon he grinned happily and resumed taking in the rain.

Who would have thought that Daisuke understands the rain? That he does is a wonderful surprise, however.

And this.. is how quickly Daisuke can put me in a better mood.

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I can't sleep.

I like rain, but not when I'm trying to sleep in a tent in which you can hear every single raindrop crashing harshly against the sides. Not to mention the thunder. It's not like I'm afraid or anything, but I don't think anyone _likes_ to be at the verge of sleep and then be shocked into complete consciousness by this noise repeatedly. They're a lot louder here than in the city too, and I think the storm is passing right over us, giving the thunder this unique bursting sound effect.

Neither Daisuke nor Chibimon seem to be affected, being the sound sleepers they are.

There is no reason for my writing, other than the fact that I am utterly bored because I'm too tired to really do anything else. I want nothing more than go to sleep, but I guess that might take a while...

I can still try, though. So long.

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**Author's Note:** It shouldn't take long to finish now; of the remaining six chapters, I have already finished four (Day #4 and Day #5 are the ones missing).


	4. Day 3

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**Day #3**

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It was still raining when we woke up this morning.

It was planned that we would go swimming today, but for evident reasons, this was cancelled for the time being. After sulking in our tent for about an hour, Daisuke had the (strangely consequential) idea to simply change into our swimwear and go play outside. When his parents, whose tent-door was open, saw us leaving our tent - barely clad, with a soccer ball - they objected and told us to go back at first, lest we catch a cold, but Daisuke managed to convince them otherwise.

To be precise, his winning argument was an indignant "But, the rain is probably a lot warmer than the water we would have swum in anyway..!" at which I had to chuckle. So they let us. While the others stayed in their tents - like all the sane people most likely would -, we ran around in the rain in our swimming trunks and played soccer.

Daisuke has become really good at it, by the way. As for me... well, let's just say it was plain to see that my days as prodigy are long gone.

On the other hand, playing soccer is a lot more fun when the opponent actually stands a chance. And what do you know, I lost. But that is absolutely okay.

Well, it's okay _now_.

After having the dark spore deactivated, it took me quite a while before I even attempted to play soccer again. I was simply too embarrassed to put on display what my previously exceptional abilities had come down to.

I do realise how this might make me sound arrogant, but one also has to take into account how I used to believe that those abilities were all I had. More than that; to me, they were my... _excuse_ for living. Brains and skills - that was all that made my worth.

Since I was little, I'd been led to believe that I wouldn't be loved unless I had them.

I'd seen Sam be favoured by our parents because of his abilities. Then, I myself had been favoured by everybody because of my abilities.

I saw those things and drew the false conclusion. I couldn't imagine that something other than what I was able to _do_ could make other people appreciate me.

This is why, even though I certainly wouldn't have had it any other way after going back to normal back then, it still crushed me to have lost those gifts and to learn the hard way that they had not been mine to begin with (while playing Emperor I had not stopped to think about why they had come so suddenly; deluded as I was I guess I simply assumed I was just amazing like that).

More than ever I was afraid of disappointing everyone and being left out once more.

This is where Daisuke re-entered the picture.

Being friends with him has made me realise that who I am is enough to justify my existence. And that it _is_ possible for others to appreciate my mere personality as well (this must sound silly to anyone who's never felt the way I used to, but this is how it was). Of course my parents and Wormmon had told me before, but somehow it took more to make it into my core.

Daisuke never even had to tell me to make me feel it.

I am getting off track again, I guess... Anyway, we did not only play soccer, but other games as well, some with, some without ball, and some I haven't played since I was five (like hide and seek). It's been real fun.

However, about ten minutes ago, Daisuke's parents told us to go change and stay in the tent now because it is getting colder outside. So now, Daisuke had the idea to grab all the snacks and candy we brought and eat it as a pastime, and I have actually been writing all this in the time he is taking to get it from the car (I don't know if he somehow expected us to be cut off of all food supplies for the rest of eternity with all the things he brought).

I'll most likely write later on again anyway, so goodbye.

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	5. Night Revelations

**Author's Note:** This is my favourite, my baby ^^ No, but I really like this one, this is why it has its own chapter. This, and because I don't know if it should be listed to the previous day, as most of it takes place in the evening and night, or to the day it is actually written on ^^ By the way, I wrote this aaall the way back when I had only recently written Day #1 xD Well, anyway, here we go.

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**Night Revelations** (written on Day #4)

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I guess I just had the weirdest night ever.

I would have written it down before, but.. that's a long story. And as I'll now write what happened we'll come to that anyway.

Well, after yesterday's entry, nothing much happened until night.

Still high on sugar, neither Daisuke nor I had any intentions to lie down and sleep anytime soon, so we had the idea to play something. When I asked what, he suggested 'spin the bottle'.

When I became quite flustered he laughingly made clear it had only been a joke. "You know," he said "spin the bottle when it's just the two of us is kind of... predictable."

I calmed down, but still could not help but wonder why he had only said 'predictable' and nothing more like... I don't know. Now he was right anyway, so I did not ask.

Then he asked if we could play 'Quid pro Quo'. I had no idea what that was all about and he asked "Have you never seen 'The Silence of the Lambs'?"

"I do not watch TV very often..."

"It's really cool, you know, there's this psycho that murders women and makes clothes of their skin and stuff, and the only way for the police to catch 'em is to cooperate with this other psycho, Hanibal the Canibal, who's a cool guy, all educated and stuff, and he tells this woman how a psychopathic brain works, but then in the end -"

"Daisuke!"

"Yeah..?"

"What's this got to do with that game?"

"Uh, yeah, right. Well, this Hanibal guy will only tell the woman anything if they make it 'quid pro quo'. It's very easy, actually it's only about asking questions and answering ones."

"What are the rules..?"

"I ask you a question you answer truthfully. Thereafter, you may ask me something and it's my turn to answer. That's it. Like a light version of 'Truth or Dare' or something."

"I don't know..."

"Come on, it'll be fun."

I agreed, and it was quite fun indeed, at least at first. He asked me about my favourite colours and foods and stuff like this, and I got to know that his most embarrassing experience was when he was five and his sister had taped him singing in his room and then posted the video on the internet. It was fun.

But then he began asking questions about Sam and my time as the Digimon Emperor, and with each question I grew more and more uncomfortable. I finally snapped when the most dreaded one was posed...

"What is your biggest regret?"

I paged through all the terrifying things I've done in my life and stopped at how my brother's death was my responsibility, in more ways than anyone knew.

"I.. I'd rather not answer that..."

"Why?"

"I just don't want to, okay?"

"Come on, Ken. It's quid pro quo, you can't just back down."

"No, Daisuke, I would really prefer if we stopped now."

"But Ken -"

"Daisuke, I said _NO_!"

He flinched, but I kept yelling at him, wakening our Digimon too.

"What the hell is wrong with you anyway! Why did you make me play that _stupid_ _game_?"

Daisuke had recovered from the shock and was now angry himself.

"I didn't _make_ you, okay? You agreed to it _yourself_!"

Before I could even reply, he said the things I will never forget.

"At least I'm _trying_ to reach you! I don't know if you've noticed, but it's always _me_ trying to deepen our friendship! You don't do _anything_! Gods, Ken, is it really _my fault_ that I try to get to know my best friend? If you don't trust me or if you don't want to be my friend, then say it, I can handle it, but don't blame me for at least _trying_ once in a while, Ken..!"

I was absolutely speechless, unable to do anything but to stutter

"I.. I..."

He had calmed down, but seemed almost.. depressed. I think he was afraid that what he had said could be true. That I didn't want to be his friend...

"I guess I want to sleep now..." he said.

He laid down with his back turned on me.

"Goodnight, Ken."

"Goodnight, Daisuke."

I stared at him for a while until I finally decided that I needed fresh air.

I fled out of the tent.

Only a little away from there Minomon came after me, but I told him to go back and that I needed some time alone to think. It's nothing new to him, so he obeyed.

And then I thought. I went a bit along the edges of the nearby forests and thought. For almost two hours.

Unfortunately I had left the journal and my pen in the tent, and I sure as hell was not going to go back there until I was ready, and here is the answer as to why I haven't written earlier.

Although it's a pity, for there were many thoughts I would have liked to remember, but well.. The most important things I'll remember always anyway...

It was mostly about how Daisuke was right. In many ways.

I had never thought of my caginess as something that could actually _hurt_ other people. But as I reflected on it, I saw that of course it must be tough for the people around me to constantly try to get through to me and to receive nothing but what they take for pure coldness.

I'm not cold. And I'm not indifferent. I really do trust Daisuke, it's just.. hard.

When I freaked out, I was mad at him for not knowing what a sensitive issue my brother is to me. But then again, how could he if I never told him?

He could not even know that my brother _was_ the issue, as he had only asked for my biggest regret.

My biggest regret... Of course I have told him that I feel guilty because I had wanted Sam to disappear in a moment of anger, but that is only the same story I told my parents and Wormmon. Nothing but a halftruth... And none of them know that there is more behind it...

I was with Sam the day he died. I don't remember where we were going, I cannot even recall the reason we started quarrelling, only thing I know is that it had been a wonderful day and suddenly I was mad at him.  
He wasn't mad at me. He only tried to calm me down, but I wouldn't listen. Last thing I remember yelling at him was "Everything would be better if you just disappeared!".  
With that, I ran away from him. Behind me he shouted "Kenny, wait!" but I just wouldn't stop. I kept running.

"_Watch out, Kenny!_"

That was the last time I ever heard Sam's voice...

I had not even realised how I had run onto the road until I saw that big truck dashing towards me. Suddenly I just could not move anymore.

Sam ran into me and pushed me away to the safe sidewalk. But sacrificed himself...

Sam loved me. He died for me. And it is my fault.

If only I had understood sooner, if only I had realised that he didn't slap me because he hated me, but because he actually cared, or that he didn't have little time for me because he didn't love me, but because he was just too busy fulfilling the expectations our parents kept towards their 'child prodigy', he wouldn't have had to die!

At least not this way. At least not believing that the little brother he cared for and loved so much that he'd victimise himself to save him wanted him to vanish.  
He truly loved me. And now, I can't even tell him I'm sorry for being such an ignorant jerk. It's too late to tell him how much I loved and needed him. It's too late to tell him I'm sorry..

But this thought brought me back to a person it was not too late to apologise to. Someone I need and love just as much. And someone whose friendship I never want to lose...

I made this decision yesterday. I won't lose Daisuke, not at any rate. And if I have to be more open about myself to keep him, then that is what it takes.

With that in mind I made my way back to the camp. When I entered the tent, Daisuke was asleep, lying on his back. I kneeled down beside him and shook him gently.

"Daisuke? Daisuke..."

"Hm, what is it, Ken..?"

Hearing his voice made me cry again. I guess I had done that quite some times while thinking about everything. I laid my head on his chest and gripped at his shirt with both hands. I could tell he was surprised, but he awoke completely, popped up on his elbows and even turned on the light when he realised I was crying.

"Woah, Ken, I didn't mean to make you cry..! I wasn't that mad, really, I'm sorry..!"

I held on to him, still pressing my face against his chest.

"No, you were right. _I_'m sorry..."

He then sat up and hugged me, comforted me. It was nice. It was actually very nice to let another human being so close to me. In fact, it was so nice that I almost forgot why I had come, other than to apologise.

"My brother..." I said, while sitting up straight beside him and looking at him.

"Hm, what?"

"My biggest regret.. It was my fault that Sam died..."

"But Ken, I thought we had gone through that already..."

"No, just hear me out..."

And then I told him. What I've never told anyone before, what I only rarely dare to even think about. The whole story.

He afterwards tried to convince me that it was not my fault, but he could say nothing that the rational part of me hasn't already told me quite a few times...

He was grateful though. He actually thanked me for telling him.

I guess we fell asleep short time after that.

This morning we awoke all cuddled up together. It was quite unfamiliar, but not all that bad.

And this is how this new and fresh day started. Like they say, another day, another chance. Although my life is rather like, another _error_, another chance... as it somehow seems to be my mistakes that eventually change it for the better.

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**Author's Note:** And now we play the waiting game again xD I seriously hope it will not take quite as long this time though ^^"


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